feeling very low today .....dont ask why ?
my life is full of reasons to be so ..........jobless ...........sitting ideally at home 25 year old elder son  in a family where everyone is working (thank god fr that ) is no thing which can force u down in ur life ......but still i was always hopeful .......that i deserve better and that eventually  the loopsided  equation of my life will have to balnce itself  out sooner or later ...................so i sit at home study a bit and hope that this year will be my year in competitive paper .........but this is easier said than done ....life goes a full circle ....some time u lose n sometime u win .....i doin petty well in the losing part ..it is the winning part i need to do beeter ........



i dont know what has happened to me ....some bad decision in life  and i am at the edge of being labelled the loser ,the failure for the rest of the daamm life


honestly nobody understands me ...dont get me wrong i mean my family is supportive and everythng..they want me to win but they i dont think understaand me ..........if i start the discussion  than by the end of it will be the one who will be consoling them rather than the other way around






having written what i have above i am optimistic ...a believer .
i still believe  i can win .......i do



i knw reading all the blogs of mine u might get the idea that i am in deprssing state ...........and i dont believe in myself .
but nothing could be far from the truth
i mean  there are very few guys i know that can take the amount of mental pressure that i am taking right nw aqnd still function


i try to draw inspiration from sucessful people



i know it wil sound very filmy and may well be very funny also if i say it out loud but i have gained inspiration from ms dhoni


we are poles apart i mean i hav hardly done anything in sports except in few basketball games in college
and i dont think that ms dhoni was known fr his academic life but stil he inspires me


i simply admire his equanimity in pressure situation
he is the epitome of way one should handle pressue


when ever i am goin to face pressure i try to imagine him winning the world cup final by hitting the six

like they say in army "if one man can do it  than so can u "
i remember once hitting the six my self in cambrige school when wev were playing cricket
we lost the match but hitting that six is one of the high point of my cricketing career




life is always tuff  ....hopefully i will be tougher




dear god plz help me out
i may not be perfect but noway can u term me as a bad person
and if i am not bad than no way can u make me lose the match of life.....





i have to win
ihave to get into sucess ..it is waitng for me just need to go therre and grab it