life is full of  ups and down...in my case way more of downs and as for ups well i am stll searching ........it is so damm tuff
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.......to get sucess that is ...i dont know why i am not studying these days ....i just go thru some raw data  of gk during the day but thats bout it .......need to gather up motivation and just do it

after giving cat my hea\rt is full of mixed emotion ....very honestly speaking i have no idea how my paper went .......so the result can be mixed ...it can antythng fron great to pathetic ... and that makes me really scared .....iguess i should not think bout it but what to do ...human tendency
mind wanders where  you dont want it to ,.........i guess i just have to conc on my rest og the papers ...there is notrhing i can do now which will change my cat paper result....i hope god sees my pain n struggle and finally gives me some push into the positive sucessb which i so desperately long for so long .......i have lost so much that i cant take it anymore ...i mean      i......come on i deserve some stability some sucess in life ....hope god helps me this time and does not leave me in the middle like last time............

house m.d

today having a bigg headache .......i guess sleeping late and waking early  has something to do with this .....but that is not the blof is all about ....it it is a review  or  should i say  my view about a sitcom called house. watced it earlier also but did not see the early seasons of the same . so yesterday when i got my hands on the 1st season of the show it was like handing a choclate to a seven year old......and the headache  gave me a pretext to watch it at the costr of llong list of important stuff i could have done in the same time.
and i abslutely loved it . i mean it was simply mind blowing ........the writer createrv and co producer david shore is  a brilliant person ....to concieve such a plot as house it truly   remarlkable and deserve all praise ....hugh laurie who plays the abnoxious  ingenuous and ingenious doc....really add s to the the whole ploy .............david shore even adds the pieces of irony to the whole plot by naming this highly asocial person as gregrory.........i mean really what a true piece of art .....the way they explain and show the journry of the diagnosis of tape worm in the patiet is something that  the etka kapoorsof india should try to emulate even  though i doubt they will ever come close.........the side characters also play their part and add to the charm of the overall show....seriously this show is a must watch for all  especially for  the medicos and wanna be medico s.............................

i have never given up .................yup with a man who has seen so many setbacks in a short span of life of mine  .....but i never gave up ...i have always fought ....i mean i have always believed in the fact that i deserve sucess ....and will get it sooner or later. i mean look at me at the age of 26 i am still waiting and working to get that big sucess that would be the shining starry moment of my  entire life . people like me ...my peers my moved with time ...today my class mates have moved so far ahead that i can bearly see them .......both  metamorfically and in some case literally ....the best moment in my life have been so far and few . ok i will tell u top few but plz dont laugh .....best will be when i got 25 out of 25 in a maths test in class 5 .that was my first test in my new school .and i still remembered the sparkle the admiration my teacher eyes . i mean i still remember that moment . second waswhen i topped in my pharma class  in 2nd year in bds .in one of my early  pharma  classes i was caught mentally absent from the class...my teacher made absolutely sure that i was humiliated  again and again in my the class .and although i cant write the exact words but she was very very gud . it ignited the fire in me ....i studied hard and long and scored 2nd highest in the class .........only  10 out of the 100 in the class passed .......she didi not use alot of words for me but what i saw in her eyes during the subsequent classes was amazing .



but the most remarkable and most fav of mine is the moment with dr mrinalini chawala .she was my cons teacher in preclinical class .now u must know that cons is a fourth year subject that is taught from the 2nd year itself .u can imagine its vastness and importance .in those class beside basic theory we were taught tooth cutting on dummies .i was petty casual in class and did not even buy the all material required ...it was petty expensive   .....so i used to go to the class  pass the time hiding from the teacher who was busy teaching the book  worms .....this went for few classes  but than one day she took a surprise checking of the instruments ..........and so i was caught and thrown out of the class...........she was very angry and anounced a viva test  for all students which will be marked ......................


i studied hard for the test real hard ....and .in the viva exam ....i shined like a star ......there were three of us giving the viva ......she asked me and i replied ....she asked and i replied ....this went on for 15 -20 min  ..it was  like we were the only two in that room ...my other batchmates were astonished and were just watching mutely...      and this was not all ...she asked me few questions which were not in the course but i was well prepared or just plain lucky ...i stll wonder ...but i gave answers to all her quaries .finally she conceded ....but the cherry was still to come  
she said and i quote  "well done nitin .today you have answered better than some of the fouth year student "
she telling me that and better still some of my batchmates hearing her tell me that was somthing i  dont have words to explain .....but  iwas on cloud  9





i guess moments like this still make me believe that  i can sucess even i n these despo times ....hope i am right and god is with me .....i  just want the emarald in the suit of my life


i promise i will right a autobiografy  if i get thru and suceed .....we will know in few months.....................

so long ......yet to recieve a  response on the blogs of mine .............  hope somebody stumbles upon this treasure and realise its worth

sucess is so not so easy to achieve ....but than i guess i never was and it never will be

all the best dr nitin kala ......i hope u clear ur cat exam and move into the next phase of ur life

about 70 days before the cat paper .......i have worked pety hard for it...........still working   ........lets see whatt happens ....hopefully the future has bestired loads of sucess for me .
i get tense at night .i suffer from dual syndrome
my brother is also going to give cat .....his prep is abysmal but ...his office work is very stenuous and that is not allowing him to perform to his level .....at time he is very dejected and tense as he foresees that he is not gonna make it into an mba programme.. ifeel bad really bad for him .............kind of help less as well . i try to motivate him as much as possible .......also try to help him out in whatever way  i can but ...honestly speaking i feel bad as all that i do is not adequate..at this junction in life i really cant help him much
this guilt also statrting to affect my studies ....but i cant even tell anyone


i dont wanna sound selfish but if i really wanna help my brother i guess i need to first become capable enough by getting sucess fr myself ...that is all i can do ....this sound so easy but honestly winning this mental battle is no strall though the park
i have worked very hard this time for getting into the mba college ........i have studied ...have kept distractions to the  minimum....worked on  weakness ....abnd although i hav still dfewv area left ..i really hope i will cover them before the exam season start



hopefully god will will help me out this time

LIFE




at times life is heaven
and at others it  is hell
at times life is beautiful
and than at times it is ugly
it can be a high or it can be a low
life ......it can be anything  u want it to be


all u need to do is .........................just try

doin facebuk is a bit tuff .........college mates ....school  mates doin well in life ......make urealize  hw back in life utr at hte moment .......i need to  get the kick and just rise ......god needs to help me i mean i can get all the help i need

feeling very low today .....dont ask why ?
my life is full of reasons to be so ..........jobless ...........sitting ideally at home 25 year old elder son  in a family where everyone is working (thank god fr that ) is no thing which can force u down in ur life ......but still i was always hopeful .......that i deserve better and that eventually  the loopsided  equation of my life will have to balnce itself  out sooner or later ...................so i sit at home study a bit and hope that this year will be my year in competitive paper .........but this is easier said than done ....life goes a full circle ....some time u lose n sometime u win .....i doin petty well in the losing part ..it is the winning part i need to do beeter ........



i dont know what has happened to me ....some bad decision in life  and i am at the edge of being labelled the loser ,the failure for the rest of the daamm life


honestly nobody understands me ...dont get me wrong i mean my family is supportive and everythng..they want me to win but they i dont think understaand me ..........if i start the discussion  than by the end of it will be the one who will be consoling them rather than the other way around






having written what i have above i am optimistic ...a believer .
i still believe  i can win .......i do



i knw reading all the blogs of mine u might get the idea that i am in deprssing state ...........and i dont believe in myself .
but nothing could be far from the truth
i mean  there are very few guys i know that can take the amount of mental pressure that i am taking right nw aqnd still function


i try to draw inspiration from sucessful people



i know it wil sound very filmy and may well be very funny also if i say it out loud but i have gained inspiration from ms dhoni


we are poles apart i mean i hav hardly done anything in sports except in few basketball games in college
and i dont think that ms dhoni was known fr his academic life but stil he inspires me


i simply admire his equanimity in pressure situation
he is the epitome of way one should handle pressue


when ever i am goin to face pressure i try to imagine him winning the world cup final by hitting the six

like they say in army "if one man can do it  than so can u "
i remember once hitting the six my self in cambrige school when wev were playing cricket
we lost the match but hitting that six is one of the high point of my cricketing career




life is always tuff  ....hopefully i will be tougher




dear god plz help me out
i may not be perfect but noway can u term me as a bad person
and if i am not bad than no way can u make me lose the match of life.....





i have to win
ihave to get into sucess ..it is waitng for me just need to go therre and grab it

by the time i think of future it had already becomes the past.....by nitin kala

feel like crying ............but threre r no tears
amaazing in time of distress even ur own tears giv up on u ..............
feel so empty n rejected
but cant seem to do anythng but sit dejected
what happens .....happens fr a reason they  say
and gud times will cm rest assure
but honestly speaking who can garantee that
no one simply noone
guess there is nothing else to do but keep walking not easy but simply got no choice
dont knw whn this hell wil be over
but i sure hope it happens soon
coz i simply cant take it longer

i am no genius ............not   even intelligent ,..............yup u read that correctly .................no matter what my mom ,dad n close one say its true .........i am , and it feel kinda of hurtful saying it ......an average .............

i am not very gud in any thing ,..................can i study ?.........yes but as my scores tell over and over again .......that i am no albert or isaac


i camn play sports ....basketball  n cricket but not gud enough to be playing at a competion

i am like a jack of all trades and msater of none

and that is simply not gud...........

life is great

life is great ,

u write ur own fate,
so dont let the time waste ,
u can be late ,
but that should not deter u mate ,
so belive in ur self  and do not let ur spirit jade,
bcoz life is great...................


by :dr nitin kala